RFC 2100 INFORMATIONAL META · HUMOR

The Naming of Hosts

An April 1st poem about the difficulty of choosing hostnames.

On rfc-editor.org ↗
PUBLISHED
April 1997
AUTHORS
J. Ashworth
STREAM
INDEPENDENT
DOI
10.17487/RFC2100
ERRATA
Reported errata

RFC text

Contents
Original text · RFC Editor View on rfc-editor.org ↗
Network Working Group                                       J. Ashworth
Request for Comments: 2100                        Ashworth & Associates
Category: Informational                                    1 April 1997


                          The Naming of Hosts

Status of this Memo

   This memo provides information for the Internet community.  This memo
   does not specify an Internet standard of any kind.  Distribution of
   this memo is unlimited.

Introduction

   This RFC is a commentary on the difficulty of deciding upon an
   acceptably distinctive hostname for one's computer, a problem which
   grows in direct proportion to the logarithmically increasing size of
   the Internet.

   Distribution of this memo is unlimited.

   Except to TS Eliot.

   And, for that matter, to David Addison, who hates iambic pentameter.

Poetry

    The Naming of Hosts is a difficult matter,
        It isn't just one of your holiday games;
    You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
        When I tell you, a host must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

    First of all, there's the name that the users use daily,
        Such as venus, athena, and cisco, and ames,
    Such as titan or sirius, hobbes or europa--
        All of them sensible everyday names.

    There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
        Some for the web pages, some for the flames:
    Such as mercury, phoenix, orion, and charon--
        But all of them sensible everyday names.

    But I tell you, a host needs a name that's particular,
        A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
    Else how can it keep its home page perpendicular,
        And spread out its data, send pages world wide?

    Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
        Like lothlorien, pothole, or kobyashi-maru,
    Such as pearly-gates.vatican, or else diplomatic-
        Names that never belong to more than one host.

    But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
        And that is the name that you never will guess;
    The name that no human research can discover--
        But THE NAMESERVER KNOWS, and will us'ually confess.

    When you notice a client in rapt meditation,
        The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
    The code is engaged in a deep consultation
        On the address, the address, the address of its name:

                It's ineffable,
                effable,
                Effanineffable,
                Deep and inscrutable,
                singular
                Name.

Credits

   Thanks to Don Libes, Mark Lottor, and a host of twisted
   individuals^W^Wcreative sysadmins for providing source material for
   this memo, to Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Cameron Mackintosh, and a cast of
   thousands (particularly including Terrance Mann) who drew my
   attention to the necessity, and of course, to Thomas Stearns Eliot,
   for making this all necessary.

References

   [1]  Libes, D., "Choosing a Name for Your Computer", Communications
        of the ACM, Vol. 32, No. 11, Pg. 1289, November 1989.

   [2]  Lottor, M. et al., "Domain Name Survey, Jan 1997",
        namedroppers@internic.net

   [3]  Wong, M. et. al., "Cool Hostnames",
        http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~mengwong/coolhosts.html

   [4]  Stearns, TS, _Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats_.

Security Considerations

   Security issues are not discussed in this memo.

   Particularly the cardiac security of certain famous poets.

Author's Address

   Jay R. Ashworth
   Ashworth & Associates
   Advanced Technology Consulting
   St. Petersburg FL 33709-4819

   Phone: +1 813 790 7592

   EMail:  jra@scfn.thpl.lib.fl.us

ISO Plain Language

On this page
PROBLEMAs more computers join the Internet, it becomes harder to choose a distinctive hostname.
MECHANISMThe RFC presents a poem that assigns hosts three kinds of names: everyday names, fancier names, and a hidden name known to the nameserver.
THE JOKERFC 2100 is an April 1st humorous poem, not a host-naming specification.

§1The Naming Problem

RFC 2100 is a humorous commentary on choosing a distinctive hostname as the Internet grows. It is written as a poem and includes asides to T. S. Eliot and David Addison.

The poem treats hostname selection as difficult because more computers need names, while desirable names are already in use.

The poem makes a technical naming problem sound like a literary puzzle. Its subject is choosing a distinctive name for a computer.

§2Three Kinds of Host Names

The poem says a host needs three different names. The first is the everyday name used by people. It describes another set as fancier names for uses such as web pages or mail.

The third is a particular name that people cannot discover through ordinary research but that the nameserver knows. The poem ends this part by describing the name as difficult to express and understand.

The poem lists an ordinary name, a fancier name, and a mysterious name held by the nameserver. This is poetic wordplay, not a DNS naming rule.

§3References and Credits

The RFC credits Don Libes, Mark Lottor, and system administrators for source material. It also points to Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Cameron Mackintosh, and T. S. Eliot as inspirations for the poem's structure and subject.

Its references include an article about choosing a computer name, a domain-name survey, a list of hostnames, and T. S. Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats.

The poem credits people who supplied examples and literary sources. It does not define a technical naming process.